Yip – I'm one of those suckers!
I got talked into a weird garlic press thingy at a homeware show... there must have been wine or the guy doing the demo must have been hot, because it doesn't work worth a damn.
All white and cute, with a little box for the garlic and then of course you press – however instead of the lovely garlic slivers he got – I just got a flattened mushy garlic patty. Great!
And don't get me on the topic of breadmakers. If you've lost or misplaced the recipe book of a breadmaker – you're screwed. And you can only pray that they would have been smart enough to put it online or else you're stuck with a nice white 'recipe-less' white elephant.
Be careful what you wish for
And let's be honest sometimes you lose the manual on purpose. My friend got a very fancy Kenwood food processor as an anniversary present from her husband. He kept on asking her why she didn't bake more, and eventually she replied, "Buy me a good food processor, and I'll bake you a cake."
Now it's standing in the kitchen like a shiny monument. Touched, admired, cleaned vigorously but never used. (She confessed that it's too intimidating – almost staring her down, mocking her insufficient skills in the baking department.) So be careful what you wish for.
The juicer mechanic
But there is also the cleaning element – that gets so dreary that you'd rather just not use it. I worked in Holland for a family with a kitchen full of Miele appliances – almost like a Miele temple. Top of the range everything, if I sold the two dishwashers alone and maybe threw in the fridge I could have travelled around the world for a year.
Every morning I had to make orange juice for the family. Tedious business I tell you. The juicer looked like something from a futuristic movie, a tall green body with a silver top end – and big. It made fabulous juice but cleaning it was a pain. I had to dismantle the whole machine just to clean it.
I feel the same way about smoothie makers – I'd rather buy the smoothie than clean the machine!
I'd love to know if you have any appliances in the graveyard.
Ilze Dreyer is the deputy editor of Food24 and wishes her friend would donate her Kenwood Chef to her.