All hell is about to break loose in the UK and around the world as Waity Katie finally gets her man and Britain gets a good excuse for a knees-up and a street party – even David Cameron will be joining in that bit! Unlike the other Royal Wedding of the Year between Prince Albert of Monaco and Charlene Wittstock, there won’t be any South African wines at Buck House this time round. But if you’re a fan of the Windsors and want to toast them in true South African style, here are some ideas of the wines you could choose.
The most obvious contenders for the day are, of course, Graham Beck’s ‘The William’ and Steenberg’s ‘Catharina' – two wines of class, elegance and fortunate labels. I’m not sure whether after all this time, Kate qualifies for a glass of ‘Missing Virgin’ from Post House – well the latter part anyway – but I’m sure she is still going to count as Eerste Hoop’s quintessential ‘Blushing Bride’ on the day.
The big question on everyone’s lips is - what is she going to wear? Stellar Winery has a few options – I don’t suppose she will have the chutzpah to choose a ‘Really Ravishing Red’ and it’s perhaps inadvisable to raise Prince Philip’s blood pressure too much by sporting a ‘Rather Revealing Rose’, so she will probably settle for a ‘Wildly Wicked White.’ With – of course – a ‘Tiara’ on top. The one from Simonsig would be an interesting choice.
How will they be travelling to the church? In a carriage perhaps, although more likely from the ‘Landau’ range by Blaauwklippen than ‘The Hansom’ cab from Robert Stanford Estates. If Kate gets delayed in the Mall, then Archbish Rowan Williams can sneak a quick nip of ‘The Pastor’s Blend’ by Journey’s End as he waits, whilst all her family-members can console themselves with Avontuur’s ‘Above Royalty’ and the reminder that at least their side of the church isn’t totally inbred and has the normal number of fingers and toes.
Still, you can put up with a little haemophilia in the family if it’s going to endow you with all his worldly goods - some gold, silver, pearls and precious stones are always welcome to today’s modern woman (try ‘Aurum Chardonnay’ from Simonsig, ‘Argentum’ red blend from Zorgvliet, ‘White Pearl’ from Black Oystercatcher and ‘The Jem' from Waterford if you haven’t managed to snag your prince quite yet). Even if it turns out to be a ‘Giant Mistake’ (The Parlotones Wines), she should come out of the whole thing quite nicely.
But let’s be positive about this and hope that a wine such as the La Couronne ‘Menage a Trois’ won’t be appropriate this time round. Let’s hope they have plenty of ‘Passione’ (Mont Destin) and many ‘Sleepless Nights’ (Hildenbrand Wines) in a good cause. Cos if you think the paparazzi are having a ‘Field Day’ (Flagstone) now, just wait and see what happens in nine months time if they start sipping from Anatu’s ‘Family Blend.’ Doesn’t bear thinking of does it – pass the bottle!
Any more wines you can think of with Royal connections? All bad puns and vaguely tenuous links happily accepted!