For me, this usually takes place when the hub is out, the babe is down and I can wear my holey old pj’s with a nice stretchy elastic waist. I skewer my hair with a chopstick and open the fridge.
It’s funny because nothing ever looks good enough at first glance. My trying-to-be-healthy veggie drawer is still quite full, I skim over that. The leftover chicken gets nothing but a grimace, and the fat-free yoghurt is dismissed with disdain.
Then I look a little deeper: hmm, the meat drawer – there’s some peppered salami and the cheese section still has some almost-alive Camembert left over from last week’s little raid. Ohhh, and there’re some capers and some chilli and garlic pots from the pizza take-away from at least a month ago. I never can seem to throw them out. Perfect.
I excitedly slap them all on the counter and take a step back. Think… I’ve got it; why not put it all together! I’m a genius.
I toast some pitas that are going hard in the bread bin, ace. Then slather and wedge it all on and grill until bubbling. I burn my tongue whilst I devour my masterpiece with huge pools of sweet-chilli sauce.
Picture eye-goggling ecstasy and a carefree greasy chin…
This indulgent urban foraging is entirely normal and it’s one of those curious human things we do. If you shake your head, you’re lying.
It’s a wildly personal thing and so I have collected some gems from family and friends that I thought you might enjoy.
How about wrapping cheese around a gherkin? Or spreading marmite on Marie biscuits?
There’s the hoovering of whole pickled onions, and rice with cheese and butter, Milo on Pronutro and wait for it… tomatoes on peanut butter… on toast!
The gobbling of spicy Dorito’s with Stoney ginger beer and the scooping of ice cream with dry biscuits. Nutella and lemon curd out of the jar and hot prego sauce on fingers.
A common favourite with the ladies was enough chocolate to feed a small village and one guy snacks on whole raw chillies.
Some of these sound delicious and some make my toes curl, but hey, whatever butters your roll.
What do you eat when you’re alone?