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Keep your knickers on!

 “Burlesque is about feeling positive about who you are, about knowing how to shake what you have and being proud of it.” Anon.

I couldn’t really have put it better myself.

I recently went to check out the Burlesque show at Vaudeville, the latest dining craze to hit Cape Town since the Madame Zingara tent up and left its possie under the motorway.

I was expecting buxom babes with funbags and fishnets – and I wasn’t disappointed – but I soon realized you get a whole lot more for your R350 (R395 if you want to sit in VIP upstairs with your own bar) than just parading tarts.

We arrived at the old rubber factory (just off Bree St) spot on time at 7.30 (the show starts at 8.15) and were greeted and seated by charming front of house staff. “This is the best table in the house” a 12 foot stunner in a red crushed velvet dress informed us enthusiastically. Her incredibly tall French poodle was not so interested. Man, I love stilts.

Our waitress Rene was immediately round with the menus and the wine list. We ordered a bottle of Cloof “Inkspot”.  Cloof Wines seem to go hand-in-hand with DISH, a Cape Town based catering company responsible for feeding the 300 seater supper club on show nights. At R95 a bottle its  the best value for money on the list and very drinkable (I noticed it has some John Platter “bottle bling”, always reassuring when going for the “house” wine).

A delicious salad arrived promptly (you just can’t go wrong with beetroot, feta and avo) with a Meze platter worthy of Shirley Valentine. The main courses were mediocre. I tried the linefish (kingklip) served with beans and a cauliflower and mash base and dressed with an orange zest. Pretty non-descript. I have to say though that my friends at the table next door loved it. My dinner partner was looking forward to a rolled Karoo lamb and was disappointed with the “processed” texture of the meat and the lackluster mustard sauce. Beans and weird little roasted baby potatoes didn’t lift the dish at all.

I won’t reserve too much criticism for the food as it arrived on time, the portion sizes were good and it was hot. They also change the menu every couple of weeks, so I’m sure they’ll soon hit on something that works well for 300 diners. For me the evening was about the show – and that my friends, is where you will forget everything else.

Everyone who goes to Vaudeville will have a different reaction – whether you are reminded of those trips to the circus when you were a kid, or you feel invincible because you too have a human body capable of just about anything, or your head spins as the talent unfurls in front of you – whichever state of mind you’re in – prepare for it to be blown.  The ever-uber-sexy Irit Noble takes the stage between the main acts – there are 19 altogether, so you really get a night brimful of saucy entertainment. 

There is no doubt you get your money’s worth.  The show ends at about 10.30 but the fun needn’t to stop there. The Fez
bar upstairs opens up for a bit of impressive body maneuvering of your own. I left there feeling like I could conquer the world with a leotard and a hula-hoop.

Take it away.