Imagine a buttery apple crumble, tart and sweet and fragrant with cinnamon. Or a tangy lemon meringue, its topping light as a marshmallow cloud. Still determined to stick to your diet? Good for you!
For the rest of us, this is where to head when the cake craving gets too much…
1. The Whippet
When The Whippet first burst onto the Linden scene, it was the humble milk tart – lifted to artisanal heights – that first made our mouths water. It’s still a winner, but it now has stiff competition from The Whippet Cake: much care has been taken to create the perfect mouthful, balancing that milk tart base with lemony condensed milk and a biscuit crunch. Then there’s the crepe cake: layers and layers (and yet more layers) of pancakes, spread with vanilla and dark chocolate.
2. Olives and Plates
Pretty much anything you order from this Mediterranean-inspired eatery is guaranteed to be scrumptious, but the cake table deserves special mention. How does a Lindt chocolate and caramel tart sound? Or a slice of salted caramel and peanut butter cheesecake? Red velvet anyone, or perhaps a tranche of traditional pecan pie…? The list is endless, and the flavours sublime.
3. Roast Café
For people who take their baked goods seriously, a comedy club may seem like an unlikely place for great cake – but Roast Café has gained a name for its bespoke baklava cheesecake. Expect a satiny smooth cream cheese filling topped with phyllo pastry crunch – but, if that doesn’t hit the spot, there’s always the restaurant’s famous ‘cannonut’ to look forward to; a marriage between a donut and cannoli.
4. Oregano
Linden’s famous bakery is a haven for the sweet tooth. The cinnamon buns – huge, sticky and satisfying – are in hot demand, but if you’ve missed the run on these treats, you could always opt for a dense gluten-free chocolate cake or a whimsical gingerbread man.
5. Chateau Gateaux
Consider the delectable range of tarts, pastries and cakes on offer here: anything from a traditional New York cheesecake to a chocolate volcano drenched in sauce. And the best part? You can take home frozen cake to serve to your guests.
6. Moemas
The sign outside this Parktown North favourite used to read ‘Please don’t drool on our windows’- and with good reason. The sumptuous display includes light-as-air lemon cheesecake, fruit crumbles and white chocolate tartlets, but most memorable are the fat cinnamon donuts oozing delicate custard.
7. Patisserie de Paris
Calling all brownie lovers: put this place on your list. Although the specialist French pastries are definitely worth a mention, it’s the brownies – perfectly moist, packed with chocolatey flavour – that really top the list. A cappuccino to go with it, and your happy hour is sorted.
8. Life Grand Café
If you haven’t before tried Life Grand Café’s strawberry roulade, stop wasting time! This symphony of chewy meringue, soft whipped cream and juicy berries is happiness in a mouthful.
9. Patachou Patisserie
It’s cheaper than visiting Paris, yet the pastries are just as authentic as anything you’d find in France. The array of perfectly crafted French treats – from chocolate confections that look too pretty to eat to dainty fruit tarts – will leave you spoiled for choice. You can’t go wrong with the lemony kiss of the citron tarte, though.