Lots of you had your say about the 5 Bad Waiter Habits – including quite a few waiters who clearly take pride in their work and were enormously frustrated with the idiots who let down the whole industry. Being a waiter is a difficult job – and if you think it’s not, then you haven’t done it. So just to redress the balance, here are some of the most annoying things a customer can do from a waiter’s point of view. If any of them sound familiar, perhaps you should check your plate for spitballs…..
Ordering drinks one at a time
So I go to the table and one person orders a cappuccino. I look around the table expectantly “Anyone else?” No reply, order the coffee, return to table. “Ooh can I get one of those?” “Sure you can, anyone else?” No reply, go and order the second coffee, return to table. “Oooh, can I get a……” People – please try and organise yourselves. Four trips to one table just to get you a round of drinks is a waste of my time when I could be looking after someone else. If you were the ‘someone else’, bet you’d be complaining about this too.
Failure to control offspring
I appreciate that being a parent is hard and you need a break like everyone else. But unfortunately, on my voluminous job description, nowhere does it include nanny, children’s entertainer and safety officer. You may think your kids are the cutest ever and it’s a privilege for me to look out for them, but who has to clean up all that tomato sauce you’ve let them squeeze all over the table? Who will be sweeping up all the sugar from the floor because you let them ‘play with the sachets’ and who will be getting the wet cloths out to wipe down seats because you let them walk all over the furniture? This restaurant is not a playground and you don’t leave your responsibility as a parent at the door. In the words of Ricky Gervais “Control your young!”
Split bills
Why do you need to do this? Aren’t you all grown-ups? Aren’t these people you’re dining with meant to be your friends? So does it really matter, in the big scheme of things if you pay R3.60 more than you should? Honestly – get a life.
Late complainers
I don’t wish to look for trouble, but all you people who say “I don’t like to complain” are not doing me any favours at all. I make mistakes, the kitchen makes mistakes but we can all try and fix them – if you tell us at the time. If you don’t let me know that things aren’t okay, instead leaving it to your parting comments and crappy tip, then that’s just not fair. It’s business, not personal and I’m not going to get upset – I’m actually here to help you enjoy yourself.
Arseholes
I’m sorry to say that lots of you come into this category. It includes the people who threaten me with the sack because they are ‘best friends’ with my boss. The person showing off to his girlfriend and sending his glass of wine back for being corked, even though I know it came from a screwcapped bottle. Anyone who thinks that, just because I’m standing and you’re sitting, this makes you better than me and talks down to me accordingly. It includes the foodie know-alls who tell me that the steak isn’t sirloin, even though I’ve seen both the bill and the actual piece of meat delivered to the kitchen. It includes all people who leave their good manners, courtesy, cleanliness and other standards at the door – would you behave like that in your own home? No – well then don’t do it here either.