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10 Raunchy wines for Valentine’s Day

Yes, yes, yes – I know I could just laden you with even MORE suggestions for sparkling wine, romantic rosés etc etc but I thought we would do something different this year. So here is a list of 10 slightly more offbeat wines, which may just say the exact thing you want them to say to that special person this year. Good luck and I hope they work for you

Stellar Slightly Sweet and Shameless NV
Mmm – very nearly went for the Really Ravishing Red or the Rather Revealing Rosé which are other wines in this range, but at the end of the day, sweet and shameless came out tops. Look it’s not a serious wine but if you like a touch of sugar, then this is fun, easy-drinking and could say all you want it to say.

Hermit on the Hill ‘White Knight’ 2011
Oh man, this is what I need in my life! The whole ‘sweeping up on a white horse/galloping away’ thing has always pushed my buttons, but is clearly never going to happen in 21st century Wynberg. Still, I shall console myself with this white Bordeaux blend of mainly Sauvignon with a little Semillon, sit back, glass in hand and dream…

Remhoogte Honeybunch Chenin Blanc 2011
Every now and then I give in to my urge to play with words, generally somewhat naffly, but I can’t resist naming this wine a ‘Cutey Beauty’. Surely no-one could resist being called this on Valentine’s day, and even if they did, the class, elegance and sheer gorgeousness of the wine would melt anyone’s heart.

Hillock Mile High Red NV
“You have to try this just once in your life” proclaims the label. If they’re talking about the wine, then no problem – it’s a cheery, hearty, no-nonsense blend of Pinotage, Shiraz, Cabernet and Merlot. And as for sex in airplane toilets – my motto is “I’ll try anything once except incest and folk dancing.” Just saying!

Miss Molly ‘In My Bed’ 2010
Phwoar – sounds like hot-stuff doesn’t it? Except that Miss Molly is, er, a dog, so you might be sending out slightly mixed messages if you go for this on Valentine’s Day. Nevertheless, the wine won’t disappoint. A cracking value Cab/Merlot. Very toothsome.

Allée Bleue ‘L’Amour Toujours’ 2008
Ahhh – ‘Love forever’. Can’t beat that as a Valentine’s message can you really? And I must say, I would experience a nice warm fuzz if someone gave me a bottle of this next Thursday. A Bordeaux blend with real elegance and some power, guaranteed to get you in the mood.

Meinert
‘Synchronicity’ 2008
I’m a child of the 80’s and grew up with Duran Duran, Wham and, with slightly more street-cred – the Police, so even without the nice ‘working together in harmony’ angle of the name, I would still like this wine cos it reminds me of my youth. A long time ago perhaps, but a bottle of this lovely Cape blend will help bring back the memories.

Alvi’s Drift Naughty Girl Sparkling Rosé NV
I’m not sure how I would take it if my sweetheart bought me a bottle of this. I hope I would believe he saw me as fun, frothy, sweet and sexy, but if he simply thought that the svelte silhouette on the label looked like me, then that would probably do!

Hildebrand ‘Sleepless Nights’ Semillon NLH 2007
So technically, this refers to nights lying awake in nervous agony waiting to see if the fermentation will actually complete. But I think it could also refer to lying awake for far more pleasant reasons – even if it were only to sip this sweet (but not too sweet) mouthful of citrus, grass and honey.

Vrede en Lust Jess, Graham Beck Cuvée Clive, Miles Mossop Max/Saskia/Kika, Beaumont Hope Marguerite, High Constantia Clos André, Muratie Amber Forever, Genevieve MCC. Get my drift?

If you’re fortunate enough to have the same name as a wine, then your Valentine’s Day gift is the easiest choice in the world. There’s lots more out there so happy hunting.