The Food Bitch – Grumpy waiters
The Food Bitch is back.
Back to moan about
things that no one else moans about. I believe that food should be served
perfectly with absolutely no compromises, and that is why I never share my
kitchen with anyone… ever. Get out and stay out….please.
There are a lot of grumpy waiters in South
Africa. ‘Hey Grumpy, if you don’t like
your job – quit, but don’t make me suffer along with you’.
All I want is a smile (it can be fake, I
don’t really care) and a little bit of charm, and you’re not too sexy for your
job, I promise. Your job is to serve
me, with a winning smile.
with white wine
It seems everywhere you go these days you
get offered ice with your white wine order.
Why oh why would I want to melt tap water
into my R180 bottle of Steenberg Sauvignon Blanc?
It is an insult to the wine maker to water
down wine that has been loved and nurtured for a year plus. It is a frightfully
common practice, no doubt performed by the very same people that put tomato
sauce on their scrambled eggs. Yuck.
hand towel in the bathroom
This is a beaut that many a fine
establishment manages to pull off with disgusting accuracy.
Please, pretty please will you provide your
paying customers with clean towels to dry our washed hands on after we’ve had a
pee. Cloth ones must be used once or supply paper ones, but NEVER the re-usable
ones – never.*Shudder*
Cold food and cold plates
I really detest it when a hot dish is
served on an ice cold plate.
Your beautiful warm food is being cooled on
a disc of freezing porcelain that leaves one (unless you scoff at speed) with a
meal that is in rapid cool-down mode. Brrrr.
OMFG I hate buffets. I hate them more than
I hate the Spur. I hate standing in a
queue like Oliver Twist, plate in hand, while the person in front of me scoops up so
much food that it starts falling on the floor.
The whole room feels like a ho-down at the
country fare. I want my food brought to me, whilst I sit at my beautiful booked
table. I am not paying to serve myself.
I am not the only one here people… am I? I
look forward to your comments.