Fast food in SA – Rate it or hate it?

OK, OK I confess. Sometimes, (especially when you have kids) you end up eating fast food.

I don’t like it, but often you have no choice, or you are just too hungry to care. 

Don’t believe anyone that says they ‘never’ eat fast food, they are not be trusted. They are akin to those people who say they smoked but never inhaled – what utter nonsense.

Burger King

Burger King is due to be in South Africa soon (which I prefer) to rival McDonalds, but the McDonalds vs Burger King debate is for another day.

A food critic once mentioned that South Africa’s fast food was ‘neither fast, nor food’ – and I tend to agree with him.  So here is my critical review of some of the options available to us.

My critical review on some of SA’s fast food joints:

Steers
OK, calling Steers ‘fast food’ is not technically true. I have had a 7 course fine dining experience served faster to me than a Steers Burger. The burger is ok I suppose, but has a strong synthetic MSG flavour which can only be bad for you.
The chips are the best of all the fast food chains in SA.

Looks like the picture rating: 8/10

McDonald’s
McDonald’s is air food. I am pretty sure that the bun would float. I have never felt satisfied after any kind of McDonald’s burger, but guilt stops me ordering another one.

The staff generally dismissive at best. However I must say that my absolute worst part of the McDonald’s experience is shouting at a screen to make a drive through order.

I simply do not understand why they make it so loud, horrible and impersonal. Especially considering the person that you give your money to is the very same person that could not understand you while you were screaming out your window like a taxi gaatjie.

Another thing, the chocolate milk shake at McDonald’s has no chocolate in it. I am speechless.

Looks like picture rating: 5/10

KFC
Kentucky Fried Chicken as it was when I grew up was a treat. In fact, the very same one my father used to take me to in my PJ’s is still plodding along.

But alas, KFC is just not what it used to be. It is expensive, greasy, and although it tastes ok when you are eating it, it makes you feel really ill 20 mins later.

Generally the stores are grubby and dirty, and every time I go there, I vow never to go back.

Looks like the picture rating: 6/10

Nando’s
The problem that I have with Nando’s, is that the quality varies from store to store.

This is a problem for fast food chain stores as they need to be consistent. I have, more than once, had pre-cooked (yes, it’s true) fridge-cold chicken that has not been on the grill long enough.

The coleslaw is the worst in the business – personally, I thinks it’s totally inedible. When their stores are busy, the service is so slow you wish you had just cooked something at home.

Looks like the picture rating: 6/10

Maxis
Your patty is square, your bun is round. Seriously dudes, what is with that?

The burger tastes pretty good actually as there is a lot of salad and it is quite crunchy, but I simply cannot get over the square patty, call me old fashioned.

Looks like the picture rating: 6/10

Wimpy
I just don’t like anything at Wimpy.

The food is just grim, the burger patties have a weird waxy flavour and texture, the tomato sauce stains your hands for days and the coffee tastes like tepid soap water.

I just don’t get it, but then I don’t get Morkels either so perhaps I am not their target market.

Looks like the picture rating: 5/10

Delivery Pizza
Right, I have had all the main fast food brands and I just don’t like any of them, hence I am bunching them all together.

The problem with delivery pizza is that it needs to be made with a thicker than normal base so that it travels well.

Thin crispy pizza bases (the only way to go) just do not travel well.

So what you get from the franchise stores tastes like old bread and congealed cheap cheese with not-enough toppings.

Yuck! I suggest you make your own or go and sit down in a good pizza place like Col’Cacchios.

Looks like the picture rating: 2/10

Do you agree with me? What’s your favourite SA fast food joint?

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