The Food Bitch - Grumpy waiters

The Food Bitch is back, saying the things you wish you could say.

14 May 2012
food complaining

The Food Bitch is back.

Back to moan about things that no one else moans about. I believe that food should be served perfectly with absolutely no compromises, and that is why I never share my kitchen with anyone... ever. Get out and stay out....please.

Grumpy waiters

There are a lot of grumpy waiters in South Africa. ‘Hey Grumpy, if you don’t like your job - quit, but don’t make me suffer along with you’. 

All I want is a smile (it can be fake, I don’t really care) and a little bit of charm, and you’re not too sexy for your job, I promise. Your job is to serve me, with a winning smile.

Ice with white wine

It seems everywhere you go these days you get offered ice with your white wine order.

Why oh why would I want to melt tap water into my R180 bottle of Steenberg Sauvignon Blanc?

It is an insult to the wine maker to water down wine that has been loved and nurtured for a year plus. It is a frightfully common practice, no doubt performed by the very same people that put tomato sauce on their scrambled eggs. Yuck.

Revolting hand towel in the bathroom

This is a beaut that many a fine establishment manages to pull off with disgusting accuracy.

Please, pretty please will you provide your paying customers with clean towels to dry our washed hands on after we’ve had a pee. Cloth ones must be used once or supply paper ones, but NEVER the re-usable ones – never.*Shudder*

Cold food and cold plates

I really detest it when a hot dish is served on an ice cold plate.

Your beautiful warm food is being cooled on a disc of freezing porcelain that leaves one (unless you scoff at speed) with a meal that is in rapid cool-down mode. Brrrr.


OMFG I hate buffets. I hate them more than I hate the Spur.  I hate standing in a queue like Oliver Twist, plate in hand, while the person in front of me scoops up so much food that it starts falling on the floor.  

The whole room feels like a ho-down at the country fare. I want my food brought to me, whilst I sit at my beautiful booked table. I am not paying to serve myself.

I am not the only one here people... am I? I look forward to your comments.

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Read more on: restaurant  |  food bitch  |  buffet  |  restaurants

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