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Date food disasters

By far the biggest problem when eating in front of someone is getting the food into your mouth as smoothly as possible. So how do you avoid those potential date food disasters? Let's investigate.

by: Ilze Dreyer | 29 May 2007

First off, I'd love to say that I care what my date thinks about my choice of food, but I don't. Maybe with age I've become more adept at handling eating utensils or maybe I just don't have the patience to chew on a bread stick to convince a potential boyfriend that I have the appetite of a supermodel training for a fashion show.

I love food, and who ever braves the waters to date me, will have to love it too or else our ways will part quite quickly.

However I have learned through trail and error that there are some do;s and don'ts in the date-food arena that will assist you in your pursuit of a significant other.

The three evil sisters
I believe it's all about hand-eye-mouth coordination; if you struggled with ball sports in school, you might have problems in this department. Spaghetti, tagliatelle and linguini are the three evil sisters of dating food. Even if you have the twist-pasta-with-fork-onto-spoon action down to a fine art somehow it always end up on your face. The Cinderella's are penne, shells, rigatoni, fuseli, and ravioli or any pasta shape that's bite size. No mess no fuss.

Quality versus quantity
I find this one quite tricky since quality indicates possible sophistication while the other one plays into female insecurities with portions, diets and self esteem. You should probably settle for a bit of both, since I cannot see how a lonely, yet pertly positioned prawn on a tower of vegetables will make anyone jump for joy... unless it is part of a five course meal.

Speaking of prawns, if a finger bowl filled with hot water arrives with your meal or the waiter fastens a plastic napkin behind your neck, you are in trouble. Read the menu carefully: 500g of spare ribs, 30 prawns, crab, lobster or traditional Moroccan and Indian cuisine are potential date breakers. I can also say that kissing a guy who just had 15 mud prawns is extremely unpleasant.

The deceptive taco
Mexican food is for the brave. The deceptive taco might look lovely and structurally sound on your plate but with the first bite, it breaks into bits that will stick to your face, clothes, hair and hands... and there will never be enough napkins. But then there's always the jug of margaritas, so have a glass or three before the food arrives then you won't give a damn about the deceptive taco. (Some men dig sticky chicks)

To drink or not to drink
If you're a lightweight I recommend a spritzer, this way you'll keep your wits about you but still feel the alcohol settling your nerves. Sharing a bottle is always a good idea. The choice can tell you a lot about your date. However if he asks you to share his beer, or down three tequilas before the meal it might tell you more than you want to know.

Last but not least... the survival guide
Make sure you pack tooth picks, hand held mirror, strong breath mints and a credit card if he does a runner on the bill. And this one is a secret, set the alarm on your cell phone to go off one and a half hours into the date. This can either be your babysitter phoning, to let you know that your triplets have diarrhoea or someone you can call back... because so far the date is going pretty good.


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