Silly wine names

Anyone for a glass of Cat’s Pee on a Gooseberry Bush? Oh, go on...

19 Mar 2010
Cathy Marston

As we sat in our editorial meeting last week, chewing over the previous week’s drunkenness and debauchery, someone suddenly fired across the table at me ‘I had that new coffee wine the other day – what’s it called?’ Luckily I knew the right answer (never a good idea to be speechless and clueless in editorial meetings), the Cappupinoccinotage from Boland Kelder.  It's a daft, virtually unpronounceable name, but clearly catchy enough for both of us to remember a week later.

Mad names are hugely popular with winemakers around the world. Some involve teasing the French like our very own Fairview do with their Goats do Roam, their Goat Roti and the Bored Doe – all responses to the fact that the originals of these names are only allowed on French wines. Google suggest quite a few more in similar vein – Chat en Oeuf, which has a cute label of a cat sitting on an egg, Frog’s Leap Winery in California which makes a Leapfrogmilch Riesling and finally the Smoking Parrot Sauvignon (Polly Fumé, better known as Pouilly Fumé!).

Some wine labels get straight to the point – Old Git is popular in the UK and a new version for the ladies has now been launched called Old Tart. Several other wineries also target women – I found Mad Housewife Wine,  Mommy’s Time Out (which sounds a great idea to me) and the sleek and smoky Very Sexy Shiraz from Cloof winery here in SA.

On a slightly sourer note, I came across an Australian wine clearly made by a jilted husband. It was simply called Bitch and the back label had no other text apart from the name of the wine repeated 77 times. What did she do to him I wonder?!

But there’s no need to go far to find wacky names for wines, we have quite enough oddball names right here in SA. Cappupinoccinotage is soon to be joined by Vrede en Lust’s Mocholate (a choc/moch Malbec), The Jam Jar Shiraz and of course Boekenhoutskloof’s Chocolate Block have long had fans drooling and salivating.

Less appetising perhaps is the new wine from Cape Point, the Splattered Toad Sauvignon, but at least we have some way to go before we start quaffing the ultimate disgusting-sounding wine which hails from New Zealand – fancy a glass of Cat’s Pee on a Gooseberry Bush anyone? Yuck, yuck and triple yuck!

Anyone got any other hideous or hilarious wine names you think we should try?

Read more on: cathy marston  |  name  |  names  |  funny  |  wine

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